So I haven’t been posting over the last few days is because I ended up in hospital, for the last two weeks I’ve had a problem with my index finger of it being swollen and none of my antibiotics was working on Anita who I saw at the doctor’s told me if it spread I must go to A&E immediately. So Thursday night I noticed it had begun to spread so I told my dad to take me to A&E and they did tests and they said that I needed to go to the hospital so they admitted me into City Hospital that night. Friday morning I found out they were going to be doing
Friday morning I found out they were going to be doing an operation on my hand, now this is only my second stay in the hospital so it was all quite scary. They took me down to the theatre at 2:15 pm, and I didn’t go in until 2:40 pm I had the choice of being put to sleep or having my arm numbed, I made my decision on purely when I could have food. So I choose to have my arm numbed and it was so weird. I didn’t come out of theatre until around 4:20ish and then I had to stay in recovery for like 10-20 minutes and they took me back to my ward. My mummy was waiting for me with my little brother!
So I came out of the hospital Saturday afternoon but my hospital business does not end there on Monday (tomorrow) I have to go back and have my bandage changed as well as physiotherapy on my finger.
This all makes it very hard to get writing done, well mainly typing but I don’t really know where that leaves me with my writing at the minute, I can’t type that well with one hand and I can’t use both of them for the most part. So I don’t know whether that will need to go on hold or I just be patient and type one handed.
I just wanted to give you the guys the basic so you know what is actually going off and I’ve not left you randomly!
How is your writing going? Let me know in the comments below and we’ll chat!
I watched a youtube video today that I want to share with you all, because on my last post I was talking about the self-doubt I felt and how I wasn’t feeling that healthy towards my writing. Almost a month later it’s pretty much the same of how I’m feeling. Until today I think. I can honestly say hearing what Kim Chance said in that video it helped a lot. I didn’t think I needed a pep talk kind of thing. I watched this video a few hours ago, and although I have not written yet (because I was watching Riverdale) I actually opened up my Scrivener document which I haven’t done for most of July. So I say it’s that little bit of progress.
This video helped me and I do watch Kim’s youtube frequently and she does some amazing videos for writing and she herself has gone through the whole process and she just recently got an agent and her novel is going to be published. So she slugged through the trenches and came out the other end. So for me, she’s the perfect example of someone struggling and doesn’t feel like they can get out the trenches. You should all subscribe to her on youtube she is amazing. So if you are feeling discouraged or slumpy or just not right when it comes to your writing. Watch this video. It might make it a lot better.
Thank you, Kim Chance, for this video. I can imagine it has helped a lot of people all of your videos have, so thank you for sharing your writing journey and picking the rest of us up when we are feeling down. I hope you know that for me your videos make this whole process a lot easier, especially when it comes to the feelings side of writing.
I think we all know the words self-doubt, for most of us writers it is the thing that cripples us. I am very lucky that when I have self-doubt it only lasts a few hours and then I am kind of over it. This time has been different
This time has been different this self-doubt has been happening for a few weeks erm usually for a few hours at a time but now for the past few days it’s been constant. A constant stream of self-doubt and it’s crippling, I think that’s how I would describe this feeling. Crippling. I’ve never actually felt like this before, usually, writing has always come and I’ve been okay with the work I do and produce. Like I’ve had days where I think ‘Oh my work is naff’ but I’ve usually gotten over it and I remember what other people have told me about that although it does need work it’s good and that I have good natural storytelling. Usually, in these situations, I remind myself of that and it helps and I’m back on it and back writing.
I really don’t know what to do right now, erm this time it’s worse. I can’t explain it. And I don’t know what to do with it really. I’m staring at my Scrivener document and nothing is coming out and it’s not because I am blocked or I don’t know where my story is going because I know all that. I just I don’t know what is causing this. All I know is that writing right now it feels horrible and I don’t know why.
You know what does feel good? Eating my weight in junk food, that seems like a brilliant idea right now. I’m trying to push through it and write again, I mean technically I’m writing this blog post so I’m writing but I don’t know.
This is this worse self-doubt I’ve ever had, I wish I knew a way that I could kind of push through and just write and beat the self-doubt. I have no idea how to but if you guys have any clues on how to battle and combat this let me know!
So in my last blog post, I said I was participating in camp nano for July and I was going to go into more detail about my story. So since announcing that I began to change the ideas I wanted to do for it. I swapped my ideas four times and I have finally decided on my project.
It is a duology with my word goal being 125,000 words I am hoping that I will at least finish book 1 and start on book 2, this book has no title yet I have really struggled with a title I have had no idea what to call it. So it has had the name Duology book. Hopefully, the title will come to me whilst I am in the middle of the writing process because I really do love this story.
The story came about from a dream, yes one of them again, my favourite type of stories I like to write that comes from my dreams. So it’s about this group of friends who go to a boarding school in England there is 6 of them, Kara, Casey, Caden, Jack, Natalie and Cole, the story is going to be in Kara’s point of view. I don’t really have a description yet so you are just going to get the working one.
Kara arrives back at school ready for another year with her friends, other than her new relationship with Cole everything is normal until it’s not. Freakish storms begin to happen it can go from a normal cloudy day to freakish storms that get more violent as they happen. One night when Kara and Co are doing extra credit in Science with their teacher Dex Lawson all hell breaks loose. A storm that awakens a creature that nobody knows how to stop. They all know the story, they all know the myth, but nobody believed it was true.
Damn, I literally just wrote that as I was writing this blog post, I am usually rubbish at descriptions but damn I think that’s well good, obviously can still do with a bit of tweaking but it’s good so far if anything that the last sentence will be staying. So yes the story, I have begun to outline this story, I am working on character sheets for my main characters so I don’t make the mistakes I usually end up making (e.g. fifty different names for one person). So the character sheets are really helping me get to know my characters and how they would act and be. Unless you know me you won’t really know that I hate plotting, usually, I am a pantser which means I just wing it, but doing that sometimes gets me into trouble with my stories and means I end up with some big mistakes in my stories and sometimes vital information is missed or just mixed up. So this year I have told myself any new stories I start I have to start outlining and planning to stop what I do.
So this is the first story I am actually outlining and it’s different, it’s making me very excited to write the story. But I did try to plan last year and I ended up hating the story and it was awful and terrible. I am hoping that won’t happen with this story if it does I am going to push through my hatred and just learn to love it. This story has been on my mind for a few months now and the more I think about the more excited I get.
As I say this is duology so the first book is that and the 2nd book is going to resolve a conflict that is at the end of book 1, obviously I can’t tell you it because it will spoil book 1. But oh my god this duology is going to be fabulous if I do say myself. I don’t know exactly what genre I’d put it in, definitely YA but probably I wouldn’t say fantasy maybe magical realism? I don’t know I haven’t really thought about it but I wouldn’t put it under strict fantasy so maybe magical realism is the best category.
I don’t want to tell anymore for now but hopefully, through July I’ll tell you guys more! If you guys are doing camp nano what is your story about?
So usually I do Camp NaNoWriMo in both April and July, this year I didn’t do April due to university but now it’s July! I CAN DO CAMP NANO. I am really excited for this as I didn’t get to participate in April, so July is going to be good. I do plan to do daily vlogging again for all of July following my camp nano.
I asked my friends to set me a goal for July, they know how much I usually write so they knew the boundaries and they chose 125,000 this is the first time that I have ever attempted that much in a month so it is going to be really interesting if I can do it or not. I hope I can. Although I don’t have university anymore, I volunteer at Nursery on Monday 1-6 and then on Tuesday’s I go into a primary school volunteering. So I do have other responsibilities but I hope to still find time to write as much and get far on this goal.
If you guys are going to participate in Camp NaNoWriMo do let me know! I’m going to do a blog post later in the week telling you guys what story I plan to do for camp nano July!
So I think before I go into my writing journey I should give you a brief introduction to my reading journey because I feel like the two go hand in hand at least for me it is anyway. So growing up I read all the time, instead of playing outside with the other kids or my siblings, I choose to stay inside and read. As I got older around year 4-8 I stopped reading we were forced to read school books and as always I don’t like things that are forced on me. It was in year 8 (so I was 12/13) that I finally began reading again and it was due to my teacher Mrs Choudhury. I was having trouble in school, the majority of my teachers kept comparing me to my older and naughtier siblings and they kind of thought I would be the same. So I was annoyed over being compared to them and I was kind of struggling in school with some of my friends. So Mrs Choudhury noticed that my reading level was very impressive and more advanced for my age, so she gave me Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman to read. I loved it. I read it in 2 hours. So from then on, I became an avid reader.
In year 9 I discovered an app with my friend called Wattpad and this is where my writing started. I was having some family problems and I just wanted to escape and have something separate from that so I began writing on wattpad. My first story was called “The secrets of Isabella and Lizzie Hartley” I feel like I don’t need to say it was terrible because of that title. But it was terrible. Awful. The worst story ever. It was bad. I didn’t think that at the time of course. But over time I began to grow as did my writing and eventually I deleted the bad story and then wrote what I count as my first ever story and that is “The Selective Mute Princess” it got a lot of reads when I was uploading and I was 15 when I began writing it. Then I carried on writing and uploading onto wattpad.
I never really thought of writing as a career for me it was always something fun and I could escape from real life. It wasn’t until my friend Gabby bugged me to enter a competition for maybe getting your book published by a publishing company. I didn’t enter but after she mentioned it I kept thinking about it, and at 18 I kind of decided that I was going to start taking writing more seriously, I was going to work at getting published. Being an author became a career I wanted to have, alongside being a teacher.
So I am now 21 I have finished university and I will be graduating in July so now I have a lot of free time and I am spending that writing. Altogether since I was 15 I have written over 60 stories not all of them good and not all of them finished. Now I am focusing on trying to get The Selective Mute Princess published, I am currently on the third draft and this is the best one yet. I have a lot of challenges ahead of me not many people know but I have dyslexia, dyspraxia and ADHD each of these all affect me in different ways and when it comes to writing I struggle with a lot of things still and it’s mainly my grammar and sentence structure and I am still learning and it is taking a lot. So I still have a hell of a lot to learn but whilst I am doing all this, I want to document it so 5 years from now I can look back and be like I remember that. Like a little memory box of my journey that’s what I want this to be.
I hope you all follow this journey with me!
So I know my author page used to be joint with my book blog but I would like to keep the two separate which is why I have begun this blog and I hope to be able to keep both of them running side by side! I shall also start doing writing advice too!